


Don't Diss My Ability

by Seachelle623



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Anxiety, Bullying, Deaf! Renjun, Depending which route you take, Depression, EVERYTHING IS LINKED TO THE CHOICES, Fluff, Homophobia, I don't think its working, I don't want you to make junnie sad, It's confusing, Jeno is an idiot, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mentions of Suicide, Multi, People being asses, Player! Jaemin, Please Be careful, The death may not happen depending on your choices, This is me trying to be innovative, What's new, YOU MAY NOT EVEN GET A SINGLE MENTION OF DEATH BUT ANYWAY, again what's new, but also angst, choose your own story, he's not really
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-14
Updated: 2019-09-02
Packaged: 2019-09-13 09:21:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16889871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seachelle623/pseuds/Seachelle623
Summary: If the other boy had called for him, he wouldn’t have known for the other didn’t touch him or wave a hand in his face so Renjun assumed that everything would be fine.However, he knew it would not be so if he were to cross paths with the caramel haired boy again.[~ ~ ~]This is a choose-your-own adventure book. You may not even encounter some of the things mentioned in the tags depending on your choices. However, please be aware that within the book, there will be no chapter warnings for the things mentioned in the tags and that reading this story means that those issues will appear very similar to how they would appear in real life - abruptly. Also keep in mind that the things mentioned in the tags can be avoided completely depending on your choices.





	1. The Rules

**Author's Note:**

> The story concept is quite confusing but hopefully, everyone will follow the rules that I have done my best to explain.

**_Dear Reader,_ **

 

**_This is not your typical story. Within, there will several choices that you need to make. For this story to make sense, it is advised that you follow all texts that are italicised and in bold (just like this one) for it is my message as the author to you. If it tells you to make a choice, please do so instead of reading on. If it tells you to scroll down until you see a specific phrase that is italicised and in bold, please do so instead of reading on. With every choice comes a consequence and every consequence can affect Renjun's mental state. There is no specific 'goal' for this story but if there was one, it would be to ensure that Renjun stays happy. Regular choices within a chapter would look like this:_ **

 

**_Should Renjun [CHOICE A] or [CHOICE B]?_ **

**_If you chose [CHOICE A], please read on until further instructions._ **

**_If you chose [CHOICE B], please scroll down until you see [CHOICE B] START._ **

 

**_[CHOICE A] START:_ **

 

**_However, at the end of the chapter, there may be bigger choices that would look like this:_ **

 

**_Should Renjun [CHOICE A] or [CHOICE B]?_ **

**_If you chose [CHOICE A], please continue reading Chapter [C]._ **

**_If you chose [CHOICE B], please continue reading Chapter [D]._ **

**_Chapters [C] and [D] will be updated within the next [allocated time slot]._ **

 

_**Some instructions may even tell you to go back a few chapters and start reading it halfway through. Those instructions will often look like this:** _

 

**_You have reached the end of this specific chapter and to continue the story, please continue reading on Chapter [E]. Once you arrive there, please scroll down until you see the symbols [~ ~ ~]._ **

 

**_However, if you are already reading that specific chapter, those symbols have no meaning to you and please continue reading on. Granted, the length of the chapters will vary and you will be flipping back and forth throughout the book._ ** **_Of course, throughout the story you are permitted to reread as much as you like and perform different decisions each time. However, this is not recommended. I would like you to read through the story at least once without changing any decisions, no matter how dire they are and to face the consequences that come with your specific decision._ **

 

**_As of January 14, the story will be continuously updating at irregular intervals but I will try my best to update it frequently from February onwards._ **

 

**_Remember, not everyone's read will be the same as yours but please do not warn others to not choose the same option you did. Let everyone have their own specific read and free will for we are all different._ **

 

**_Yours sincerely,_ **

_**Seachelle623** _


	2. (1) The Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As of now, this is the first chapter.

Walking into the gates of university was something that Renjun had never done before and it was uncanny for someone like him to be this _nervous_.

 

He had been in countless interviews to obtain that high school exchange program to Korea to pursue his dream of becoming an animator despite the language barrier.

 

He had been in numerous cram schools to achieve the marks necessary to study overseas and to study the art of animating despite the language barrier.

 

He had been in gruelling adversities that revolved around his quiet nature and questions targeted to why he never seemed to hear them calling for him in the halls despite the language barrier..

 

He had been through so much and yet…those gates that were looming in front of him and casting a shadow over his tiny form was the scariest thing that he had ever been seen. 

 

A tap on his shoulder brought him out of his stupor, a tall male with hair the same shade as caramel, a smile on his lips that stretched so wide it had Renjun staring mesmerised and completely forgetting the necessary procedure to make it seem like he wasn’t, for a lack of a better word, a _freak_. The concern that flitted across the other boy’s face made him forcibly rip his mind out of the gutter and focus on the space between the other’s brows, right above the bridge of his nose, while peeking at the shape of his lips as they moved. Slowly, he was able to piece together the words _‘are you lost’_ coupled with yet another concerned expression and nodded, laughing sheepishly.

“I am looking for the administration building,” He replied, hoping that his intonations and pronunciation in Korean were satisfactory. “I don’t know where it is.” Once again, he watched intently and letting his eyes slip down to the other boy’s lips, the words _‘it’s just this way, follow me’_ forming and he mentally patted himself on the back for the brilliant act. He could tell that the other was talking as he blindly followed him, his mouth moving up and down but since they were walking, Renjun had no hopes of analysing the shape of the other’s boy’s lips to figure out what he was saying. Instead, he hummed from time to time, eyes scanning the area in his silent world. Students were all laughing and shouting at one another, their mouths wide open and forming profanities or expressions of joy that Renjun wasn’t able to share with them. He only stopped admiring them when he bumped into the back of the other boy, apologising quickly and bowing his head only to raise in time to see the other boy smile at him. _‘Here we are’_ were the words that his lips formed, prompting Renjun to look behind him to see the large building that read _‘Administration’_ on the relatively large label above the door. 

“Thank you,” He said as sincerely as he could, seeing the boy’s smile widen even more before his lips were moving again and forming the words _‘it’s not a problem’_. Just to be sure, Renjun bowed once more and walked up to the door, opening it and entering the building. 

 

If the other boy had called for him, he wouldn’t have known for the other didn’t touch him or wave a hand in his face so Renjun assumed that everything would be fine.

 

However, he knew it would not be so if he were to cross paths with the caramel haired boy again.

 

The interior of the building was simple - it was an office-like environment, multiple members of the university’s faculty bustling about with files in their hands and tired expressions on their faces. In the back of his mind, Renjun decided that it would be good if he were to finally use the language that he was comfortable using in the shadows that the eyes of students usually overlooked. Walking up to the desk that was right in front of the door on the other side of the area, he cleared his throat and saw the girl behind the desk look at him with a small tired smile. 

“I’m Huang Renjun and I’m here for my provisions,” He said while signing, as if the girl couldn’t tell who he was when she had probably been waiting for him with his special timetable and permission slips that would allow him to sit in the front row of all of his lectures and classes so he could read lips instead of hearing words. The girl whose name tag read _‘Luna’_ didn’t seem to bothered by the way he stared at her lips, reading their positions and furrowing his eyebrows when he realised that she was not as articulate at speaking as the boy from earlier. It wasn’t long before the girl had grabbed her phone and typed, kindly showing the screen after with the same small smile. _‘We are still waiting for some of the forms to be approved but in order for them to be, we need to know if you have cochlear implants, Renjun’_ was what was written on the screen and Renjun frowned, knowing that he hadn’t been able to afford cochlear implants due to his family’s financial struggles back in China.

“Sorry, I don’t have the implants,” He apologised and dropping the signing, sudden fear coursing through his body at the thought of not being able to attend his classes due to not knowing what his lecturer was saying. “I cannot afford them right now.” He saw sympathy flash across the girl’s face, her energy levels dropping alongside her sagging shoulders before she typed on her phone screen once more. _‘The university has a scheme where we’ll pay for them but they will get added to your school fees. However, you won’t be able to get the implants for another, say, six to eight months due to the waiting list of other special provision students’_ was what was written on the screen now, a sad face following in the next line as Renjun shook his head.

“As long as I can sit in the front of the classroom and see my teacher’s lips, I will be fine,” He answered, pausing as he thought of a less effective but desperate alternative. “Or I can always run my program for the entirety of class, the speech diction one.” He saw the girl chuckle at him, her eyes disappearing into crescents before she typed on the screen and showed it to him once more. _‘It’s a speech DICTATION program but yeah, I can grab your permission slips for sign in’_ was now the last message on the phone and being polite, he bowed his head slightly to thank the girl who probably laughed at him even more, judging from the way her shoulders shook up and down. _‘I hope you’ll have fun studying here at SM University’_ read the last message before the girl stood up and walked over to a cabinet, taking out several pieces of paper that were probably his permission slips. It wasn’t long before the girl typed some more on her phone and showed him the message _’I have arranged for another student to be your sign translator in case you can’t read the sign in person’s lips’._

 

“Thank you,” He replied as she laughed, eyes lighting up when she saw someone behind him. Confused he glanced behind him to see a boy whose hair was as dark as night, firm build that made him insecure about his own wiry frame and a face that seemed like it belonged to a magazine. There was another male with the guy that had enamoured Renjun, he was a bit leaner and skinnier but still handsome with his equally dark hair and cute round glasses. He felt a tap on his shoulder and hurriedly read the message on the phone that was being slid towards him. _‘The one with the glasses is Mark Lee and he knows KSL. He’ll be translating anything for you during sign in’._

“Ma…Mak Lee?” He asked, looking at the girl behind the desk who furrowed her eyebrows in evaluation at his pronunciation before typing and showing a message that read _‘curl your ‘r’ a bit more’_. “M-Mark Lee?” He tried again, seeing her face light up as she nodded at him in approval before the male with the glasses named ‘Mark Lee’ strolled up to the desk with his friend in tow. He stared at the taller and read as much as he could of his lips, gathering that he was there for a sign in appointment but didn’t know who it was he was helping. In the meantime, Renjun let his eyes stray from Mark’s rapidly moving mouth to the guy behind him, the one who was a little shorter but also a little more built. He seemed disinterested, as if he was forced by his friend to be there, shoulders a little slack as he waited for his friend to be done. Renjun watched as the other’s eyes moved from around the room to where he should, jaw going slack when the other’s eyes landed on him. Suddenly, a hand was waving itself in his face and Mark Lee was smiling warmly at him, hands moving as he talked. 

“I’m Mark Lee and I’m from Canada! One of my relatives is mute so I know quite a bit of KSL,” The other greeted and Renjun found himself sighing happily at not having to worry about his pronunciation for a while. “Sorry, I don’t know how to say your name yet…”

“Huang Renjun,” He signed, clearing his throat before saying it with his voice that he barely used. “Sorry, I don’t know you’re saying it right since I’m deaf but my Korean name is ‘Hwang Injun’. Hopefully that’s easier,” He signed, getting carried away before slowing down. “You can’t read KSL that fast, can you?”

“We’ll take it slow,” Mark signed, laughing at the end in what Renjun assumed was shyness or embarrassment. “Let’s sign you into our system, yeah?”

“Thank you for helping me,” He thanked with his voice rather than his hands, bowing slightly and glancing at the other boy who was still behind Mark Lee and staring at his form when he stood up straight. He didn’t notice Mark glancing between them before the other was smiling devilishly and signing again while keeping that same devilish smile.

“Oh, I see what’s going on here.” Renjun scowled when Mark finished signing, rolling his eyes and glaring at the taller male in front of him.

“Can I just sign in peacefully?” He signed, putting on a begging expression as Mark laughed visibly and grabbed his arm to lead him to an office where he would have to sign in to be on the university’s database as a student. “What now?”

“Now, we wait until you actually _can_ sign in,” Mark signed, smiling gently at him as they sat on some chairs and waited patiently for the office door to open.

 

_This year is going to be tough. Especially with my disability._

 

**_Should Renjun [engage in conversation with Mark Lee] or [stay silent] while he waits to sign into the university?_ **

_**If you chose [engage in conversation with Mark Lee], please continue reading Chapter 2.** _

_**If you chose [stay silent], please continue reading Chapter 3.**_


	3. (2) Talking To Mark Lee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taking a deep breath and adjusting his position in the uncomfortable seat that the receptionist told them to sit in, Renjun turned to the boy next to him, tapping the other’s shoulder to get his attention.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the smaller choices in the chapters, I have left quite a few lines between each choice outcome so hopefully finding you cue will be a bit easier. Also, I ask all of you to check the tags, the summary and the rules again since I've updated them a bit.

**_[Engage in conversation with Mark Lee] START:_ **

 

Taking a deep breath and adjusting his position in the uncomfortable seat that the receptionist told them to sit in, Renjun turned to the boy next to him, tapping the other’s shoulder to get his attention.

“Thank you for helping me,” He signed, smiling shyly as he tried to keep his motions steady and clear enough for the other to read. “Is there anything about this university that I need to know?” He asked, watching as Mark thought for a moment before he nodded, his glasses moving slightly.

“People here are usually great but not everyone is nice,” Mark replied, his motions progressively become more shaky the more he signed. “Just don’t go to the wrong crowd. Especially since you’re deaf.”

“But I’ll be fine as long as I’m with you, right?” He asked, giggling when Mark smiled reassuringly at him in confirmation.

“Definitely! I always do my best to take care of lost souls like you.” Renjun found himself laughing, his shoulders shaking and could imagine his laughs coming out slightly muffled since he was holding a hand to his lips. “You know, Jeno would probably want to know you too.” He saw Mark sign once the other had tapped his shoulder when their laughter had subsided. “He was the one who was with me.”

“The one who looked like he came out of a magazine?” He asked, staring at the other incredulously and being answered with a simple nod. “He looks kind of intimidating.”

“He isn’t that bad,” Mark signed before the door in front of them was opening and a girl around his age exited, hearing aids being shown due to her pixie hair cut.

 

He didn’t hear anything as usual but he knew that whoever was inside that room had called out _‘next’_ since Mark stood up and nodded towards the open door.

 

Following Mark inside the room, Renjun was met with shiny desks and polished floor, bookcases adorning the walls and a relatively young woman standing in the middle of the room behind the lone desk. The name tag on the desk displayed _‘Ms Jung’_ and when he looked up, he was met with the older woman already talking. _‘What was your name again’_ were the words that her mouth formed, kind expression resting on her face as she waited for his response.

“Huang Renjun,” He stated, signing automatically before confusion overtook her features. “My Korean name is ‘Hwang Injun’.” Waiting, he watched as her lips made the words _‘Take a seat for a moment. I think you might be in the exchange pile’_ and sat down in one of the two chairs in the room, noticing that Mark had already taken the liberty to sit in the other seat.

 

_He must do this often to be this comfortable._

 

As he waited, he saw Mark’s lips move to form words such as _‘yeah, have to do enough for my extra curriculars’_ and _‘of course, why would they reject me when I’ve been doing this for the past two years’_. Renjun figured that Mark was engaging in a conversation that only people with hearing abilities would be able to participate in. Mark must have noticed him staring for the older turned slightly to him and smiled gently, signing quickly.

 

“Don’t worry, she isn’t saying anything about you.”

 

Renjun hated the small sigh of relief that came alongside processing that statement. His thoughts, however, were quickly overridden by Mark pointing desperately at the woman behind the desk in front of him and causing him to abruptly turn towards her to find her smiling gently at him - as if it happened all the time…and to her credit, probably did. _‘So it seems that you don’t have the implants yet…would you be interested in getting them later’_ were the words that her lips formed and Renjun shrugged his shoulders, not really knowing what he wanted in regards to the implants.

“I think I’m fine without them,” He explained, refraining from signing since he had practiced that one phrase many times on the bus while he was travelling earlier that morning after getting off the plane. “I haven’t really had any problems.” He saw the woman’s face soften into something that he couldn’t name before several papers were being laid out on the table in front of him. He saw a simple white permission slip for having his laptop open regardless of the class for his dictation program, another dull yellow permission slip for sitting at the very front of the classroom and a timetable of all his classes and lectures.

“Thank you,” He said, signing the words as well and saw the woman’s gentle smile once more. _‘Take care and if you ever change your mind about the implants, come back’_ were the words that he read from her lips, his feet walking out of the door before he could even blink with Mark Lee close behind him.

“Thank you,” He said again, preferring to use just his voice this time in order to properly thank the older who laughed at him and Renjun found himself wondering just what Mark’s voice and laughter sounded like. “For coming with me.”

“Don’t mention it,” The other signed, his lips creating the same words and Renjun felt a small bubble of happiness rise in his chest since the older seemed like a very decent option for a _friend_. _‘Here’s a map, I thought you might want it’_ were what Mark’s lips formed and Renjun reached out to grab the small pamphlet that he must have missed in the reception area that they were currently walking through. “Do you think you’ll be alright to find your way to your dorm? Did you hand your bags in yet?” Renjun chuckled at the older’s concern, nodding his head along.

“I arranged for my bags to be shipped straight to the dorms from the airport,” He answered, hands moving at a faster pace to match the words coming out of his mouth. “It was just easier.”

“Do you want me to walk you there?” Mark asked, concerned expression and Renjun shook his head for he didn’t want to be a burden. “Are you sure?”

“Maybe just directions?” He asked sheepishly, opening the map after and feeling his brain slowly break down at how large and complex the campus looked. He watched Mark sigh before the other was drawing a line on the map in front, drawing a star at the end of one line, a tap on his shoulder coming after.

“Take two lefts and a right, then go straight and those are the exchange dorms,” Mark instructed and Renjun thanked him, bowing slightly and turning to go when Mark grabbed his wrist gently. “Wait, I’ll give you my number in case you need any more help.” Slightly bewildered, Renjun nodded and diligently took out his phone to add in a new contact, thanking the heavens that someone as nice as Mark Lee was willing to help him. Once he received his phone back, he thanked the older, promised him that he would text him when he got to his room and walked to his dorms, following the instructions diligently and soon arriving at his dorm room. The key that he had picked up near the front door under the number of the door he was assigned had worked beautifully on the lock and he was met with the sight of a single bed, a single desk and his luggage.

 

 _Finally, home at last…well, it doesn’t really_ feel _like home but…it’ll do for now._

 

It wasn’t until he had filled his cupboards and drawers with his clothes that he remembered the promise he had made with Mark Lee.

 

**_Should Renjun [text Mark Lee to let him know he’s safe] or [continue settling in his dorm room]?_ **

**_If you chose [text Mark Lee to let him know he’s safe], please continue reading on until further instructions._ **

**_If you chose [continue settling in his dorm room], please scroll down until you see [Continue settling in his dorm room] START._ **

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**_[Text Mark Lee to let him know he’s safe] START:_ **

 

Humming a tune from his childhood, Renjun took out his phone from his pocket to send the older a few messages to let him know of his whereabouts.

 

_To: Mark Lee!!_

_Got to my dorm all safe_

 

_To: Mark Lee!!_

_Thank you again for helping me at the sign in_

 

And just like he expected, Mark hadn’t taken that much time to reply since all Renjun had achieved between sending and receiving messages was picking up a shirt that had fell from his luggage onto the floor.

 

_From: Mark Lee!!_

_Haha it’s okay! Just doing some credit stuff anyway_

 

_From: Mark Lee!!_

_I’m chilling at my best friend’s dorm room which is in the exchange dorms too_

 

_From: Mark Lee!!_

_And well my friends want to meet you for lunch and I can give you a grand tour too_

 

_From: Mark Lee!!_

_Especially Jeno_

 

_From Mark Lee!!_

_Is that alright with you?_

 

Staring down at the message, Renjun weighed out the pros and cons of meeting up with Mark and his unnamed friends alongside Jeno. He would gain some connections - some things that he barely had before back in China - and he would get a tour of campus but…he still found Jeno a tad bit intimidating since the other was obviously blessed with good looks.

 

**_Should Renjun [accept Mark’s offer] or [decline Mark’s offer]?_ **

**_If you chose [accept Mark’s offer], please scroll down until you see [accept Mark’s offer] START._ **

**_If you chose [decline Mark’s offer], please scroll down until you see [decline Mark’s offer] START._ **

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**_[Continue settling in his dorm room] START:_ **

 

Shaking his head and grabbing another shirt from his luggage, Renjun quickly made use of lost time since he wanted to explore campus in the afternoon after lunch. Placing his socks neatly in another drawer, Renjun was distracted when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, the screen lighting up to show him a new message from Mark Lee.

 

_From: Mark Lee!!_

_Hey, sorry, I messaged myself on your phone to get your number_

 

_From: Mark Lee!!_

_I’m sorry I didn’t tell you_

 

_From: Mark Lee!!_

_Are you in your room yet? Did you find it?_

 

_From: Mark Lee!!_

_I hope you are…if not, ignore the next few messages but…_

 

_From: Mark Lee!!_

_I was wondering if you were interested in meeting up later?_

 

_From: Mark Lee!!_

_My friends want to meet you over lunch (Jeno suggested and we’re all just in one of my other friend’s room since he lives in the exchange dorms too)_

 

_From: Mark Lee!!_

_And well…I could give you a tour of campus too if that’s ok?_

 

Suddenly feeling a little guilty at not messaging the older sooner, Renjun sighed as he contemplated whether or not going to meet up with Mark was a good idea or not. On one hand, Renjun would be able to properly apologise to Mark for not messaging him and use the meeting as a way to make them even again but on the other…he would like to continue settling into his new home and the concept of meeting Mark’s friends seemed like a lifetime of awkwardness (if the older was any indication of who he hung out with). Staring at the screen, Renjun took a deep breath as he came to a decision.

 

**_Should Renjun [accept Mark’s offer] or [decline Mark’s offer]?_ **

**_If you chose [accept Mark’s offer], please continue reading on until further instructions._ **

**_If you chose [decline Mark’s offer], please scroll down until you see [decline Mark’s offer] START._ **

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**_[Accept Mark’s offer] START:_ **

 

Smiling to himself, Renjun read over his message twice before pressing the _‘send’_ button.

 

_To: Mark Lee!!_

_Sure, I don’t mind meeting them and the tour sounds good too_

 

_From: Mark Lee!!_

_SWEET_

 

_From: Mark Lee!!_

_Some of them went ahead to get a table at the cafe but I’ll meet you at the dorm entrances in ten?_

 

_From: Mark Lee!!_

_My friend has to get ready lmao_

 

_To: Mark Lee!!_

_Yeah that sounds good :)_

 

Hurriedly putting his phone in his pocket and noticing a mirror next to his door, Renjun quickly brushed his hair with his fingers, sighing at how much unpacking he still had to do and closing all of his drawers and cupboards. He quickly zipped up his luggage afterwards but chose to keep it on the bed, deeming it too much of a hassle to drag to the floor and knowing that he would regret leaving it there later when he came back.

 

_From: Mark Lee!!_

_Nvm he’s ready now_

 

_From: Mark Lee!!_

_You need more time or?_

 

_To: Mark Lee!!_

_No no!  
_

_To: Mark Lee!!_

_I’m coming!_

 

_From: Mark Lee!!_

_Okay, we’re waiting for you_

 

Making sure he had his wallet, phone and keys, Renjun quickly exited his room and locked the door, smiling proudly at himself for establishing some connections on the first day. Remembering the turns he took in the building to get to his room, Renjun eventually found the elevator and travelled all the way down to the dorm’s lobby that had a sleeping receptionist and two males waiting on the chairs in front - Renjun assumed that the receptionist and chairs were for people who _didn’t_ arrange everything online. Carefully walking over to the males, Renjun eventually recognised one to be Mark whose face lit up when he saw him.

“Renjun!” The other greeted enthusiastically, his happy expression doing all it could for Renjun to note that the other was probably shouting as he sloppily signed. “This is Chenle! It’s his first year here too!” When Renjun let his eyes wander over to the other, he saw the younger’s lips create a timid _‘hello’_ while he waved adorably. “He’s from China too!”

“It’s nice to meet you,” He greeted in Chinese, smiling when Chenle’s face lit up in delight and caused his lips to create words that flew by too fast for him to read. Troubled, Renjun turned towards Mark who simply patted Chenle’s shoulder, seemingly grounding him, and Renjun continued watching as a realisation flitted across Chenle’s face - probably the one that stated his ears as defective. _‘Sorry’_ was the only thing that the younger’s lips formed and Renjun smiled gently, feeling slightly guilty at killing his bubbly mood with a disability that he had no control over.

“It’s okay,” He reassured the other in Chinese, dropping the signs to pat his shoulder. “You’re not used to this.” He could tell that Chenle wanted to say something more but was stopped by Mark waving a hand between their faces, causing Renjun to instinctively turn towards him.

“Let’s go?” Mark asked, his signing becoming more confident as Renjun nodded, following Mark and stepping outside. He could tell that Mark and Chenle were talking by the way their mouths moved but he couldn’t see the lines of their lips clear enough to know what they were saying. As they walked through numerous facilities on campus, one sight that captivated him was the same stranger who had helped him find the administration building alongside a taller male who seemed like he was afraid of _something_. Out of pure curiosity and nothing else, Renjun tapped Mark’s shoulder and pointed to the two males who had now sat down on a bench not too far away from where they stood.

 

“Who are they?” He asked, seeing Chenle stop and look, his expression mirroring Renjun’s own as if to ask the same question as his. He saw Mark sigh, the older pushing up his glasses slightly before he started talking with his hands moving at a slightly slower speed.

“I don’t know who the tall one is but the other one is named Na Jaemin,” Mark explained to the both of them, Renjun nodding as Chenle’s mouth formed a small _‘o’_. “Don’t get too invested in him.” He saw Chenle’s lips form the words _‘why not’_ and nodded to ask the same question, only causing Mark to sigh again. “He’s known for being a fuckboy and tricking both girls and guys to have sex with him. Some people say he even has an STD so I wouldn’t even get involved with him if I were you. Who knows what might happen?” Humming, Renjun let himself take one more look at the boy he now knew was Na Jaemin and found it very hard to believe that a boy who was nice enough to help him find the administration building would have the guts to trick an innocent person into having sex. He felt a gentle hand on his wrist and turned to see Chenle’s concerned expression, the younger’s lips forming the words _‘come on, our friends are waiting’_. Conflicted, Renjun turned to look at Na Jaemin and his companion once more, Jaemin in mid laughter as the other boy smiled cheekily.

 

_Should I make the connections already set up for me or go for my own?_

 

**_Should Renjun [go to Na Jaemin and his companion] or [go with Mark and Chenle to meet their friends]?_ **

**_If you chose [go to Na Jaemin and his companion], please continue reading Chapter 5._ **

**_If you chose [go with Mark and Chenle to meet their friends], please continue reading Chapter 6._ **

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**_[Decline Mark’s offer] START:_ **

 

Shaking his head, Renjun decided against the offer, deeming it much more fun if he were to explore campus on his own.

 

_To: Mark Lee!!_

_Sorry, Mark, I just want to unpack today and then quickly grab something later from a cafe I saw_

 

_To: Mark Lee!!_

_I hope you have fun with your friends though :)_

 

Taking deep breaths, Renjun couldn’t help but feel unsteady as he waited for Mark’s reply, suddenly wanting to go back and accept the offer so he could at least have one friend.

 

_From: Mark Lee!!_

_Oh its ok!_

 

_From: Mark Lee!!_

_We’re here if you ever want to meet us :)_

 

Biting his lip and pocketing his phone once more, Renjun resumed the mundane task of unpacking. He put articles of clothing into various drawers, sighing in relief once his luggage was empty and hauling it off the bed, kicking it underneath his bed shortly after. When he checked his phone, he saw that it was still relatively early, making him smile and exit his dorm room to grab food from the cafe he saw on the university’s website. Renjun didn’t know how long he had wandered around campus until he finally saw the cafe that was in the website - Dream cafe with their delicious looking iced mochas. Entering the store, Renjun quickly ordered his well deserved iced mocha with a nice croissant that the wished he knew how to make. Grabbing the table number stand he was given after payment, Renjun saw Mark amongst a group of rowdy boys who seemed around this age on one side of the cafe but also saw the boy who had helped him find the administration building sitting all alone on the other side and looking as if he had been stood up with the way he was absentmindedly stirring his straw in his glass. Conflicted, Renjun decided that going to Mark would be a proper way to apologise for misjudging how much he had to unpack and would grant him with friends but also decided that he would regret leaving the poor boy all alone…he also still had yet to thank the boy who had guided him to the administration building properly.

 

**_Should Renjun [go to Mark and his friends] or [go to the boy sitting all alone]?_ **

**_If you chose [go to Mark and his friends], please continue reading Chapter 9._ **

**_If you chose [go to the boy sitting all alone], please continue reading Chapter 10._ **

 

**_Chapters 9 and 10 will be updated within the next month and a half._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, this story will take a long time to get through since I have to write every outcome...yes, I nearly went crazy writing different events and incorporating choices...


	4. (3) Staying Silent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Afraid that he might accidentally anger the older, Renjun put his lips tighter together and waited in the chair that he had sat down in, Mark Lee next to him and both waiting for the door in front to open.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the smaller choices in the chapters, I have left quite a few lines between each choice outcome so hopefully finding you cue will be a bit easier. Also, I ask all of you to check the tags, the summary and the rules again since I've updated them a bit.

**_[Stay silent] START:_ **

 

Afraid that he might accidentally anger the older, Renjun put his lips tighter together and waited in the chair that he had sat down in, Mark Lee next to him and both waiting for the door in front to open. Renjun couldn’t stop fiddling with his fingers as he waited, the rising awkwardness suffocating him before he saw Mark move slightly, the older’s hands coming into his vision.

“So how are you?” Mark signed, causing Renjun to look up at the older and look down slightly, his throat closing up and his hands being too shaky to do anything. _God…what if he doesn’t like me after this?_ The seconds passed by slowly, each one starting to get more painful as Renjun tried his best to get his throat to stop constricting from the anxiety that ran through his veins. It seemed like an eternity of shaky hand signs that Mark couldn’t decipher, their previous somewhat comfortable atmosphere having disappeared ages ago. It seemed, Renjun noted, that Mark was less awkward when he had moral support - the boy who seemed like he came out of a magazine had already left. Once the door opened and a girl with a pixie cut that displayed her hearing aids exited, Renjun swallowed thickly and forced himself to stand - that very action taking more energy out of him than it should have. Inside the room was the usual office with its polished desk, polished floor and uncomfortable guest chairs. Nervous, Renjun saw Mark sit down in one of the chairs in front of the desk, his smile comforting and Renjun followed his lead, attempting to smile but having it come out as more of a grimace. Behind the desk stood a middle aged woman, her features soft and the tag on her desk reading _‘Ms Jung’._ A touch on his elbow lurched him back into the right mindset, Mark quickly signing and asking if he was alright to which he simply nodded to. He saw Mark sigh in relief before the older began to sign again.

“Ms Jung is talking to you,” Mark informed him, causing Renjun to feel his cheeks heat up slightly in embarrassment and quickly turn towards the woman who had a kind smile plastered on her face. _‘Mark tells me that your name is ‘Huang Renjun’ and that you’re from China. Is that correct’_ were what her lips formed and Renjun nodded, blurting out his next sentence before his throat could constrict again.

“I don’t want the implants,” He said quickly but adequately enough that the woman looked at him in surprise. “I…I’m doing just fine without them, I think.” Renjun internally cringed at his attempt of justifying himself. He saw the woman’s lips form the words _‘that’s fine but the university’s scheme is still an option’_ before she sifted through several folders and placed four pieces of documents in front of him. Curious, he leaned over the desk to see a white permission slip that would enable his laptop to be open in all of his classes so he could run his dictation program, a dull yellow permission slip that would allow him to sit at the front of each classroom, his special timetable that told him where and when to go to his lectures and classes and a map of the school. He knew that the woman was talking but he didn’t make an effort to read her lips, choosing instead to stuff everything in his bag except for the map and standing up the same time as Mark did, bowing slightly in thanks. He saw the woman wave at him before he exited with Mark, the older telling him to be safe and that if he ever needed any more help to just find him around campus.

 

_But I probably won’t see him ever again…_

 

Thanking and bidding the other farewell, Renjun tried to make sense of the map that he had in his hands, slight regret overtaking his being at not asking Mark where the exchange dorms were and at not just initiating conversation like a normal person. If he had…maybe he would have a solid candidate for something that he had never had in the past - a friend. However, as he wandered campus even more, Renjun found his resolve of finding his dormitory weakening, already pondering whether his luggage that he had shipped directly from the airport to his room had made the journey successfully yet. Scanning the people who surrounded him, his eyes landed on a tall but obviously shy stranger who seemed to not be the kind of person who would ignore his pleas for help if he had heard it.

 

**_Should Renjun [ask the stranger for help] or [continue trying to find his dormitory by himself]?_ **

**_If you chose [ask the stranger for help], please continue reading on._ **

**_If you chose [continue trying to find his dormitory by himself], please scroll down until you see [continue trying to find his dormitory by himself] START._ **

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**_[Ask the stranger for help] START:_ **

 

Taking a deep breath and not wanting what had happened with Mark Lee to reoccur, Renjun made the treacherous journey towards the stranger by himself. Once he reached the stranger, he noticed that the poor boy seemed frightened by his presence and he smiled softly, relieved to see the tension in the other’s shoulders slowly disappearing.

“Sorry to disturb you but…do you know where the exchange dorms are?” He asked, hoping that his Korean pronunciation was enough and that the other had understood him. The stranger’s eyes dropped down to the map in his hands and Renjun took the time to glance down at the other’s hands as well, the exact same map resting there. When he looked back up, he saw the other’s lips form the words _‘that’s where I’m going too’_ along with a slightly grateful expression that Renjun assumed was due to the fact that he wasn’t the only lost soul around here. _‘But I’ve been lost for the past half an hour’_ were the words that the other’s mouth formed next and Renjun sighed internally before gathering up courage once more.

“Mind finding it with me?” He asked and saw the other’s face light up, the stranger nodding along and walking alongside him in what they hoped was the right direction. He could tell that the other was talking and asking him questions and decided to tell the truth otherwise he would never be able to find friends during his years on campus.

“I’m sorry but…I’m deaf,” He admitted, glancing shyly at the taller who stopped right in his path and stared at him in amazement. “I’ve been reading your lips but when we walk, I have to watch where I’m going and-“ He was cut off by the other putting up one of his large hands, the other hand reaching into his pocket to get out a phone and start typing. _‘Is this better then?’_ the message not he screen read and Renjun nodded, grateful that the other didn’t look at him differently when he told him. He was met with the other’s small smile and yet another message that read _‘My name is Park Jisung btw. What’s yours?’_.

“Renjun. Huang Renjun,” He stated, heart feeling light since it seemed like he had just found his first friend at that university. “I’m from China.” _‘That’s pretty cool! I got in through a program and the normal dorms were full so they put me in the exchange ones’_ the latest message read, Jisung pulling his arm shortly after to get them walking. _‘I think we’re friends now, Huang Renjun. It’s nice to meet you :)’_ was what was now on the phone that Jisung handed to him and Renjun found himself giggling, the vibrations moving his shoulders as he handed the phone back to Jisung.

“Yeah, I think we are, Park Jisung,” He replied, smiling after and being glad that Jisung’s smile mirrored his own. The next message displayed _’Oh! Let me put my number in your phone! The only friend I have is Jaemin and he doesn’t count since we’ve known each other for forever - even if he is sweet unlike what people say about him’_ and Renjun found himself chuckling at the other, taking out his phone and allowing Jisung to add himself, messaging the new contact after for Jisung to acquire his number. As they continued to walk, they continued to talk about the little things such as how Jisung wanted to perform on stage as a professional dancer and how Renjun wanted to become an animator, how Jisung likes his cereal to be a bit soggy so he waits for a few minutes before eating it and how Jisung needed friends because Jaemin doted on him like a parent.

 

Even though he had someone who he could talk with normally, Renjun still found himself and Jisung lost for a good half an hour more, his stomach practically grumbling once they reached the set of keys near the dormitory entrance that was right next to the counter. Hastily grabbing the one under his name, he noticed that Jisung had taken the one right next to his, Jisung’s name sitting innocently right next to his own.

“I guess we’re neighbours,” He piped up, pointing to the board and laughing outright when Jisung’s mouth dropped open and the other’s arms were winding around his frame. He felt the other’s breath puff against his hair but waited patiently for the other to realise that he didn’t have the ability to hear. When Jisung pulled back, he seemed quite embarrassed and typed on his phone, showing Renjun a message that read _‘Sorry, I said that I was grateful to have you as my neighbour so I don’t have to meet more people :)’._ He giggled once more and let the other know that he was grateful for the arrangement as well since he still wasn’t very comfortable with letting people know about his disability for it could be a nuisance at times. He was met with another message from Jisung that showed a simple _‘:(‘_ as they walked into the elevator and exited on their level. As he slid his key into his lock, Renjun was scared for a second when it seemed like his door wouldn’t open but sighed in relief when it did, his luggage sitting innocently in the middle of the room that consisted of his bed, some cupboards and drawers and a desk with a chair. He waved silently to Jisung who waved back, still struggling with his key but eventually getting his door open before he entered his new abode.

 

He had spent a solid hour of unpacking his clothes and mundanely putting them into several drawers when he remembered that he had a _friend_ now and wondered briefly if Jisung would mind going with him to explore campus a bit more.

 

**_Should Renjun [message Jisung] or [explore campus on his own]?_ **

**_If you chose [message Jisung], please scroll down until you see [message Jisung] START._ **

**_If you chose [explore campus on his own], please scroll down until you see [explore campus on his own] START._ **

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**_[Continue trying to find his dormitory by himself] START:_ **

 

Shaking his head, Renjun decided that he could be independent and find his dormitory on his own, even if it was at the cost of friendship that he didn’t have. Trying to make sense of the map in his hands, Renjun eventually found himself in the exact same spot a few adventurous minutes later. He groaned in frustration before he tried again, taking different turns but swearing that he passed the same tree four times before someone tapped his shoulder from behind. Turning around, heart beating fast in fear, he was met with a stranger who looked at him shyly and passed him a map of campus that was in his hands. _‘Sorry to scare you but do you know where the exchange dorms are’_ were what Renjun could read from the other’s lips and shook his head.

“Sorry, I’m looking for the same place and I’ve been lost for a while,” He admitted softly, looking at the ground but peeking up just in time to see the other’s lips move. _‘Oh. Well, do you want to come with me to find it’_ were what he read and nodded, hoping that the other’s sense of direction was better than own. The other’s mouth began moving too quickly and all Renjun could decipher was _‘Chisung’_ so he smiled as best he could and introduced himself as well.

“Nice to meet you, Chisung. I’m Renjun,” He said politely, the other furrowing his eyebrows before repeating his name. “I…I’m sorry, I’m deaf so I actually can’t hear you…” He muttered, hoping that the other wouldn’t really hear about his disability but luck wasn’t on his side for the other’s face lit up in surprise and the other had dug into his pocket to take out his phone, typing furiously on it after. _‘That’s ok!! I’m JIsung…it’s a JI sound, not chi’_ the message read and Renjun sighed in relief since the other didn’t seem to treat him any differently now that he knew about his disability.

“Sorry, Jisung,” He apologised and the other shook his head, instead motioning for them to start walking. _‘It’s okay, you have a valid reason’_ was the message that his phone had, Renjun humming in affirmation as he kept walking.

“Still, I feel bad,” He insisted and saw Jisung chuckle at him, the vibrations moving through the other’s chest. _‘Come on, let’s just get to our dorms’_ read the latest message on the screen and Renjun nodded in agreement.

 

As he didn’t expect, he ended up getting lost five times due to taking the wrong turns that Jisung took since he was following the other. However, instead of getting mad, Renjun found himself bubbling with excitement as he began to get to know the other. For example, now he knew that Jisung was two years younger than him and got into the university through a dance program, now he knew that Jisung was weird and liked cereal soggy and that Jisung had a childhood friend who went to the university named ‘Jaemin’. Apparently Jaemin was a sweetheart but the student body didn’t think so and Jisung wanted Renjun to meet Jaemin for himself. After many twists and turns, the two finally found themselves in the lobby of the exchange dorm, immediately going over to the board that displayed all the keys for the rooms next to the reception desk.

 

“Hey, you’re next to me,” He stated, pointing to Jisung’s name and key that sat right next to his own and was met with Jisung’s bright smile. The other took a while to type on his phone before showing him a message that read _‘I’m glad :)’_.

“Yeah, I’m glad too, Jisung,” He replied and they went to the elevator in a comfortable silence, exiting at their designated floor and heading over to their rooms, both keys working fine. He could see his luggage in the room before a hand pulled him back, Jisung’s shy smile meeting his gaze alongside the screen of the other’s phone.

 

_‘Wait! Is it alright if I get your number? You’re kinda the first friend I have here and…well…Jaemin doesn’t count.’_

 

Smiling softly at the other and his adorably shy demeanour, Renjun took out his phone and gave it to the other to put his number in. He saw Jisung’s face light up as the younger put in his number and when he got his phone back, he sent a quick text to the new contact, feeling overly happy when the other’s phone screen lit up. Without a second glance, Renjun went inside his room, noticing the bed, the cupboards and drawers, the desk and the lone chair surrounding his luggage and sighed at the thought of having to unpack. As he put his clothes in multiple drawers, he couldn’t help but admire Jisung and his passion for dancing alongside his courage to go to university a whole year ahead of the rest of his grade. Halfway through unpacking, he felt quite bored at the task and the idea of exploring campus seemed to be much more appealing to him in that one moment - but exploring campus with Jisung (his _friend_ as Jisung called him) seemed much more appealing to him in that one moment.

 

**_Should Renjun [message Jisung] or [explore campus on his own]?_ **

**_If you chose [message Jisung], please continue reading on._ **

**_If you chose [explore campus on his own], please scroll down until you see [explore campus on his own] START._ **

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**_[Message Jisung] START:_ **

 

Taking out his phone and clicking on Jisung’s contact, Renjun quickly sent a message that he hoped wasn’t _too_ awkward.

 

_To: Jisungie~_

_Hey, do you want to do some exploring? I’m a bit bored_

 

He didn’t need to wait long for a reply since the younger replied almost immediately.

 

_From: Jisungie~_

_I was just about to message you!_

 

_From: Jisungie~_

_I messaged Jaemin and he said that he was proud of me finding a friend!_

 

_From: Jisungie~_

_If it’s not too much trouble, we can all meet in fifteen minutes?_

 

Renjun stared down at the message, conflicting feelings swirling in his mind. He would be grateful to meet the other’s friend - Jaemin didn’t seem like a bad person with the way that Jisung’s eyes lit up when he talked about him - but Renjun did have his doubts since he was awkward and might come off a bit odd to Jaemin…he couldn’t hear after all.

 

**_Should Renjun [accept Jisung’s proposal and meet Jaemin] or [decline Jisung’s proposal and explore on his own]?_ **

**_If you chose [accept Jisung’s proposal and meet Jaemin], please continue reading Chapter 7._ **

**_If you chose [decline Jisung’s proposal and explore on his own], please continue reading Chapter 8._ **

 

**_Chapters 7 and 8 will be updated within the next month._ **

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**_[Explore campus on his own] START:_ **

 

Deciding against messaging Jisung, Renjun fixe his hair in the mirror next to the door that he had failed to notice earlier and felt his phone vibrate in the pocket of his jeans. Taking it out, he was met with a new message from Jisung.

 

_From: Jisungie~_

_So uh…I talked to Jaemin about you (I didn’t tell him you were deaf!)_

 

_From: Jisungie~_

_And he wants to meet you_

 

_From: Jisungie~_

_Is it alright if we all meet up in fifteen minutes?_

 

Feeling his throat dry up at the thought of meeting Jaemin, Renjun took a deep breath as he tried to come to a conclusion. Jaemin seemed nice - Jisung’s eyes had lit up with fondness when he talked about him - but Jaemin was also unknown territory, someone who could ruin everything for him at the university, if Jisung’s offhanded comment about the rest of the students at the university and how they didn’t view Jaemin to be sweet was anything.

 

_Should I meet Jaemin even if I trust Jisung?_

 

**_Should Renjun [accept Jisung’s proposal and meet Jaemin] or [decline Jisung’s proposal and explore on his own]?_ **

**_If you chose [accept Jisung’s proposal and meet Jaemin], please continue reading Chapter 7._ **

**_If you chose [decline Jisung’s proposal and explore on his own], please continue reading Chapter 8._ **

 

**_Chapters 7 and 8 will be updated within the next month._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, this story will take a long time to get through since I have to write every outcome...yes, I nearly went crazy writing different events and incorporating choices...


	5. (4) Placeholder Chapter For Now

[Placeholder for now]


	6. (5) Going To Na Jaemin

 

**_[Go To Na Jaemin and his companion] START:_ **

 

Smiling sheepishly at Mark and Chenle, Renjun simply waved before running towards the boy named Na Jaemin and his companion. 

 

If they had screamed after him, he would never have known for this was his only perk of being deaf. 

 

The boy named ‘Na Jaemin’ and his friend were still conversing happily on that bench, their mouths open in silent laughter as he approached them - the one who he had never seen before was the first one who noticed his presence. 

 

“Hi,” He greeted awkwardly, praying that his Korean was satisfactory. “I would just like to thank you for showing me to the administration office earlier,” He said as he turned to Jaemin, the other’s mouth falling open in realisation before a bright smile was being directed his way. Words such as _‘no problem’_ and _‘I’m Jaemin by the way’_ were being formed before the boy gestured to his friend. _‘This guy is Park Chisung and he’s a first year here’_ were what Jaemin’s lips created and Renjun stared at the two before smiling brightly and saying that it was a pleasure to meet them both. However, his luck had clearly run out when Chisung asked for his name - memories of what Mark had warned him about suddenly resurfacing despite the fact that Renjun wasn’t really one to believe rumours.

 

_Renjun, you don’t know what will happen if you become close to him…_

 

 _…but_ surely _he’s not what they say…right?_

 

**_Should Renjun [give Na Jaemin and Park Chisung his name] or [refuse to introduce himself]?_ **

**_If you chose [give Na Jaemin and Park Chisung his name], please continue reading below._ **

**_If you chose [refuse to introduce himself], please scroll down until you see [refuse to introduce himself] START._ **

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**_[Give Na Jaemin and Park Chisung his name] START:_ **

 

Giggling to himself at the thought of possibly finding two new friends, Renjun did his best to pronounce his name properly.

 

“I’m Huang Renjun and I’m from China,” He shyly said, lips forming a small smile as he began to fidget more under their gazes. “My Korean name is ‘Hwang Injun’ if my actual name is too hard to say.” _’That’s so cool’_ was what he could read from Chisung’s lips, the other looking quite excited while Jaemin smiled softly at him. _‘I know it must be hard to have moved here for university when you’re so used to another country’_ was what he had caught before Jaemin had stood up and bowed, his face becoming parallel with the floor as Renjun felt his heart sink since he couldn’t _hear_ what the other was saying. 

“Um…” He started, seeing a look of curiosity on Chisung’s face as Jaemin peeked up at him. “I…uh…can’t _hear_ you…” He trailed off, wanting nothing more than to run away in that one moment, the panic slowly rising since he didn’t know what could happen. He felt a soft hand patting his shoulder and turned to see Chisung, the boy having a sympathetic look on his face as his free hand held up a phone with the words _‘Jaemin’s just flirting with you’_ typed neatly into notes. Confused, he looked back at Jaemin who was now sporting slightly flushed cheeks and an embarrassed expression before he coughed, taking out his own phone and typing before showing it to him. _‘Ignore Jisung, he’s too young to understand how adorable you are’_ was what was written and Renjun looked between the two, furrowing his eyebrows before asking his question.

 

“Who’s Jisung?” 

 

He watched as Jaemin doubled over, his laughter probably being obnoxiously loud before Chisung hit his back and huffed, crossing his arms before angrily typing into his phone - his actions doing nothing to make Renjun backtrack and think about what he had said. 

 

_It was a genuine question though…_

 

 _‘My name is Park JIsung - it’s a JI!’_ was what he read from the message on the screen and immediately apologised to Jisung who sighed and waved his apology away, instead typing some more. _‘Do you mind if we grab your number? I think Jaemin likes you too much to let you go…’_ was the new message and Renjun found himself smiling wide and unlocking his phone to get the other two contacts, receiving Jisung’s phone in exchange. He happily labelled himself as _‘Renjun - DO NOT CALL’_ and saw Jisung chuckle at the name he had set for himself. When he looked back at his phone, he found two new numbers - _‘NEW FRIEND JISUNG’_ and _‘OLD ASS JAEMIN’_ \- before another phone screen was being shoved in his face. _‘Sorry Injun but I have to show Jisung to his new dorm! We’ll text you later :)’_ was what he read and he nodded, waving goodbye and heading over to the cafe on campus that he saw on the university’s website - Dream Cafe. He got a simple iced coffee before making the trek back to his dorm room, fiddling with his key a little before he finally got inside and his phone vibrated in his pocket. When he checked who it was, he saw that it was Jisung who had created a group chat with himself and Jaemin, the other two already telling him to reply to which he did. 

 

Renjun found himself texting the other two before he shut his eyes and fell asleep, not having gotten anything related to university done but did get his happiness boosted up for Na Jaemin and Park Jisung seemed like promising friend choices.

 

**_Please scroll down until you see [Preview] START._ **

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**_[Refuse to introduce himself] START:_ **

 

Lightly shaking his head and trying to ignore the disappointed looks of the other two, Renjun suddenly felt bad for those looks belonged on everyone else but the two boys in front of him.

 

“My name isn’t important,” He said, knowing that it was a sorry excuse before the other two nodded in understanding. Renjun noticed that Jaemin’s smile seemed to have lost its brightness, the realness dimming slightly before the other’s lips closed and Renjun was forced to stare at Chisung to find out what he was saying. This, however, proved to be difficult for Chisung’s lips were moving too fast for him to comprehend the sounds that were escaping and caused Renjun to suddenly blurt out his terrible secret. 

“I’m sorry, I can’t hear you,” He said quickly, staring at the two in fear as Chisung’s mouth stopped and Jaemin looked at him curiously. “I’m deaf,” He confessed, staring at the ground, ashamed of himself since he wanted to keep it a secret so they wouldn’t treat him any different. He saw a hand wave itself in front of his lowered face, prompting him to look up and see a genuine smile from Jaemin - small, yes, but genuine all the same. Jaemin passed him his phone that displayed a small message typed into his notes. 

 

 _‘It’s okay! :) Jisung and I won’t judge you for it :D’_ was what was not he screen and Renjun felt relief flow through his bones.

 

It wasn’t long before another phone was being shown to him, another short message being displayed on the screen.

 

 _‘How hard is KSL?’_ was what was on it and Renjun looked up astonished to see Chisung - _no, JIsung_ \- and his embarrassed face, the other looking away slightly before he piped up.

 

“KSL isn’t that hard,” He stated, smiling softly and omitting the fact that he had been learning it since he was young. “But you will have to remember a lot.” He saw Jisung snort before the younger showed him the phone once more, a new message on the screen. _‘That’s every language’_ were the words that he read and Renjun showed the other an innocent smile before an arm was being slung over his shoulder, Jaemin’s phone and another message sliding its way into his view. _‘Do you mind if we get your number? I think we’ll be a pretty good trio!’_ was what he read and Renjun shook his head, happily handing over his phone to Jaemin who in turn gave his. Renjun hummed a tune he couldn’t hear as he set his name to _‘NEW FRIEND RENJUN’_ and smiled brighter when he received his phone back, peeking over his cover at Jaemin’s wide smile at his name. He looked down to see two new contacts - _‘Jaemin/Nana :D’_ and _‘CHISUNG’_ \- and giggled, happy at having found new friends. 

 

When he returned to his dorm, Renjun felt his phone vibrate in his pocket as he was currently trying to make sense of his timetable and the map of the university’s campus. He took it out and saw his two new possible friends messaging him and telling him that they should create a group chat.

 

Without a second thought, Renjun agreed and spent the last few hours of the day awake and messaging the two new people he had met that day.

 

 ** _Please keep reading on._**  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**_[Preview] START:_ **

 

The next day, Renjun had been groggy for he barely slept - too busy replying to the messages between himself, Jisung and Jaemin. His laptop barely had any battery so finding a seat in the classroom of his class that was near the power boards was a must - he couldn’t afford to not have his dictation program open. He was glad when he saw that the door of the classroom was open, shuffling inside quietly and noticing light brown hair that seemed to resemble Jaemin’s laying on top of the second last seat in the last row - right next to one that was near a poewrboard. Setting his stuff down in the seat that would be the most convenient to him, he went to gently shake the boy, the other’s shoulders were moving up and down irregularly and Renjun was afraid that he was having a nightmare. When he shook the other, he was met with Jaemin’s face - tear stained and his lower lip bleeding slightly (probably from being bitten). The other’s eyes seemed to contain such a broken soul and Renjun swallowed _hard_ , staring down at the other before croaking out his next words.

 

“Jaemin…what happened?”

 

**_Please continue reading Chapter 12._ **

 

**_Chapter 12 will be updated within the next two months._ **


	7. (6) Going To Mark Lee and Friends

**_[Go with Mark and Chenle to meet their friends] START:_ **

 

Renjun found himself staring longer at the boy sitting on the bench next to his friend, not for a second believing that what Mark had said about him was true - he _had_ helped him earlier, after all. A light touch to his left wrist brought him out of his stupor, Mark’s concerned face entered his view. 

 

“Renjun? Come on, we need to go,” The other signed with his free hand, his lips moving along so that Chenle could understand as well. “They’re waiting.”

“Yeah…yeah, sorry,” He mumbled, not even bothering to sign before he was following the others to the cafe that he had scrolled past on the university’s website. Inside, he saw two other boys noisily fighting in a booth near the back of the small space. The shorter one had beautifully tanned skin, a shiny silver earring glinting in his right ear lobe as the other smiled adorably with his eyes curving upwards. Renjun gasped when he recognised the eye smiling male to be the incredibly handsome friend who had accompanied Mark to the administration building before his sign in. He was sure that Mark was chuckling at him as Chenle’s lips were moving too fast for him to comprehend any words - the other was probably explaining his situation to the other two. _‘It’s nice to meet you! I’m Donghyuck and this is Jeno!’_ were the words that he was able to read from the tanned male’s lips, the other male’s - _Jeno’s_ \- eyes widening at his sentence before he was looking away from Renjun’s calculating stare.

 

_Why won’t he look at me?_

 

“It’s nice to meet you, Donghyuck,” He said back, making sure to smile and make eye contact with Donghyuck who smiled wide before playfully nudging Jeno’s side. “It’s great to meet you as well, Jeno.” Renjun didn’t miss the way that Jeno looked at him in surprise before his eyes softened and he smiled prettily, gesturing to the other side of the booth and his lips forming the words _‘take a seat’_. He felt someone tap his shoulder before he was met face-to-face with a phone that read the message _‘Mark-hyung’s buying me a drink. Do you want anything?’_. 

“Um…maybe just some iced tea?” He asked, looking at Mark in worry but was met with the other giving him a thumbs up before telling him to sit down with Chenle. Hesitantly, Renjun slid into the booth, he kept his eyes trained on a napkin in front of him - damp patches showing that it had been used - before someone tapped twice on top of the napkin. Looking up, he saw Jeno smiling slightly at him with - dare he say it - _fondness_ lurking in his eyes as his lips made the words _‘so, how’s the university so far’_.

“Big,” He said, sighing after, letting his shoulders drop and felt someone - Chenle - pat his shoulder. “I nearly got lost going to sign in.” He saw curiosity spark in Donghyuck’s eyes, the other’s smile becoming wider before his lips were creating the words _‘I go to sign ins too’_ and _‘they’re pretty annoying, right’_. Renjun let himself chuckle before he agreed and politely asked the other why he had to go for special provisions. _‘Ah’_ was what Donghyuck’s lips formed next, followed by a simple _‘I got into an accident a few years back and now have a chronic disability’_. 

“I…I’m sorry,” He apologised, bowing his head slightly before he felt Chenle tap lightly at his thigh, nodding towards Donghyuck who was replying to him. _‘It’s okay, don’t worry’_ was what Donghyuck said next, his eyes kind and not containing an ounce of spite. _‘I just can’t write in exams because it hurts so I type and get extra time’_ were the words that were formed next, Donghyuck looking proud of himself when he later stated that he was currently competing with Jeno for first place in biology. _‘You’re coming dead second, Hyuck’_ were the words that Renjun caught from Jeno’s lips before everyone was talking at once and he didn’t know whose lips to read. He was more than grateful when Mark had come back with a tray of drinks, the older passing his disposable cup of iced tea before giving a cup marked with _‘hot chocolate’_ to Chenle. He saw Mark’s fingers wriggle themselves in his view, the other clearly wanting some attention that Renjun gladly gave.

“You good there?” Mark signed with one hand while speaking, slightly worried look on his face and Renjun shyly looked away before replying but keeping his lips shut tight.

“Your friends all talk at once and I don’t know who to look at…” He trailed off, glancing around the table and letting his gaze linger slightly more on Jeno until the other male raised an eyebrow at him. When he looked back at Mark, the older was smirking before he smugly signed in reply.

“You’re not fooling me, Renjun,” Mark signed, thankfully keeping his lips shut before he slid next to Donghyuck and sipped on a cup that had _‘Americano’_ written on it. “They’re just arguing over biology ranks. Jeno is coming first but Donghyuck wants to beat him super bad,” Mark signed, speaking at the same time to let the others know what was going on. “It’s not that important.” At this, Renjun could tell that they were screaming in protest since the predicament seemed to be _very important_ for them to argue in this way. _‘And not only that, I’m a really good singer’_ were the words that Donghyuck’s lips formed and Renjun nodded his head, remembering the small snippets of music that he remembered from a specific music light show that allowed him to _see_ the notes. _‘Maybe I’ll sing for you sometime and you can give me feedback’_ were what he read next and Renjun found his heart dropping at the fact that he wouldn’t be able to give Donghyuck any feedback…

 

…he wouldn’t even be able to _hear_ the other’s voice - let alone him _singing_.

 

He saw Mark’s mouth moving quickly - the older probably giving a lecture or something similar - before he decided that he couldn’t sit there for any longer in case he felt more guilty for having such an _inconvenient_ disability. He saw Donghyuck’s lips moving in an apology - didn’t even bother to read the words - and nodded his head, assured the other that it was fine and politely asked Chenle to stand so he could scurry out of the cafe with his untouched iced tea and a heavy heart. 

 

**_[~ ~ ~]_ **

 

When he arrived at his dorms, however, he noticed another boy struggling to get his door open - the poor boy probably sighing in frustration and Renjun felt guilty since he probably wouldn’t be able to help him. 

 

He turned away when the boy met his eyes, his small ones sparked with hope and for once, Renjun was glad that he couldn’t hear for he wasn’t in the wrong if the other boy called out for him - he wouldn’t hear anything, anyway. 

 

He spent several minutes lying on his bed and regretting his decisions, the iced tea on his desk and long forgotten before a vibration in his pocket took him by surprise. 

 

_From: Mark Lee!!_

_Hey, I’m really sorry about Hyuck_

 

_From: Mark Lee!!_

_He has a hard time with understanding how feelings work_

 

_From: Mark Lee!!_

_But I hope they didn’t scare you away?_

 

Letting out a breathy laugh, Renjun shook his head before replying.

 

_To: Mark Lee!!_

_its okay, I understand_

 

_To: Mark Lee!!_

_And no, I’m not scared of them_

 

Renjun decided to omit the fact that Jeno seemed to be quite intimidating but only because the other was so good looking.

 

_From: Mark Lee!!_

_That’s great!_

 

_From: Mark Lee!!_

_So uh…Jeno kinda wants your number_

 

_From: Mark Lee!!_

_Is it ok if I give it to him?_

 

Renjun took a deep breath after reading the words on the screen as his brain struggled to answer the proposal. On one hand, he would be able to get to know the other, get to know the person behind the eye smiles and the protests as to why Donghyuck would never beat him in biology. However…

 

…Jeno was _unfamiliar_ \- a territory that he didn’t need to explore. 

 

**_Should Renjun [allow Mark to give Jeno his number] or [refuse to give his number]?_ **

**_If you chose [allow Mark to give Jeno his number], please continue reading below._ **

**_If you chose [refuse to give his number], please scroll down until you see [refuse to give his number] START._ **

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**_[Allow Mark to give Jeno his number]:_ **

 

Humming, Renjun bounced slightly on his bed as he laid there and typed his reply, hoping that Jeno wouldn’t be _too_ freaked out by him.

 

_To: Mark Lee!!_

_Sure, it’s okay ^_^_

 

_From: Mark Lee!!_

_SwEeT_

 

_From: Mark Lee!!_

_He’s a little awkward but he’s chill_

 

He couldn’t repress the giddiness that arose within him, the boy who had helped him get to the administration long forgotten when he received a few short text messages from an unknown number.

 

_From: Unknown_

_Uhhhh Renjun?_

 

_From: Unknown_

_This is Jeno, Mark-hyung gave me your number :)_

 

Gasping loudly, he rolled over but miscalculated his distance from the wall when he banged his head against it. He let himself imagine that his dorm room neighbour asked if he was okay, mumbling out something incoherent before replying.

 

_To: JENO_

_Right number :)_

 

_To: JENO_

_So hi_

 

He couldn’t refrain from cringing internally, practically hearing his own sound of disgust that he must have made since he hated his messages that much.

 

_From: JENO_

_Yeah hi hehe_

 

_From: JENO_

_I know Mark-hyung was meant to give you a tour but…_

 

_From: JENO_

_Do you know where everything is?_

 

_From: JENO_

_I’d like to get to know you better - you’re interesting_

 

Renjun buried his head into his pillow and screamed to his heart’s content, not caring about whether his neighbours heard or not.

 

For Renjun, the night became a cycle of texting Jeno and receiving quite honest replies back - ones that made him scream endlessly until he felt his neighbour knock on their shared wall, the vibrations being a nuisance as he leaned against the wall and mumbled an apology in response.

 

**_Please scroll down until you see [Preview] START._ **

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**_[Refuse to give his number] START:_ **

 

Sitting up and rubbing his eye slightly, Renjun shook his head to himself before he began to type a reply to the older.

 

_To: Mark Lee!!_

_Sorry, I’m not that comfortable with him yet_

 

_From: Mark Lee!!_

_That’s okay!_

 

He let himself sigh in relief since it didn’t seem like Mark hated him but he could never say the same about Jeno since he didn’t even chase this one opportunity to get to know the other.

 

_From: Mark Lee!!_

_But give him a chance, okay?_

 

_From: Mark Lee!!_

_He really likes you :)_

 

Renjun wished that he could stop that sudden intake of breath that invaded his lungs the minute he read that message - not being able to imagine _anyone_ liking him. 

 

Let alone someone with an appearance like Jeno. 

 

_To: Mark Lee!!_

_One day, just not now :)_

 

Running a hand through his hair in frustration and throwing his phone on his bed before getting up to sit at his desk - the core ideas of animation somehow being very boring despite them being his passion. Letting his mind run free, Renjun took out his precious sketchbook where he often drew abstract art when his brain was too distracted to concentrate. It had started off as always - a small circle that he coloured in - before he began to draw more features - a curve above it, another small circle and a curve beneath both. With some more shading and lines, the small piece of abstract art began to take form in a human face. A straight but slightly large nose, a mole near the right eye and a brilliant smile that made him rub out the eyes he had drawn and replace them with thin curves. Once finished, he took his phone to check the time only to find out that three hours had passed and now he had a portrait sketch of someone who he had only _twice_ and talked to _once_. Renjun simply sat on his bed with his back against the wall and screamed to his heart’s content - several knocks from his neighbour coming after a good ten minutes to which he mumbled a reply and finally let sleep wash over him with one lingering thought.

 

_Would I still have drawn Jeno if I had just talked to him?_

 

**_Please keep reading on._ **

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**_[Preview] START:_ **

 

Sketchbook in hand, Renjun walked blearily into the room of his first class the day after he had hung out with Mark and the older’s friends. The morning had been normal enough - adequate sleep, adequate battery on his laptop and he had seen his neighbour, a very tall first year who had waved off his apology awkwardly - but seeing only one other person in the room wasn’t the usual routine that he was used to. The boy had caramel-coloured hair that glinted as he rest his head on his folded arms, hunched over the desk in a way that would surely hurt his back. Worried, Renjun absentmindedly set his bag and book down on a desk near the front of the room and made his way over to the back where the boy was - taking light steps since he knew that just because _he_ couldn’t hear _himself_ , the other boy would _surely_ hear him. He stepped closer agonisingly slowly, shaking the boy’s shoulder and crouching slightly. 

 

“Hey,” He said softly, eyebrows furrowing slightly as he saw the boy blearily up at him - his features being familiar until he was able to put a name to a face. “Na Jaemin,” He said in awe and saw the other boy blink at him and look away, his hand being brushed off the other’s shoulder. “Are you okay?” He asked and saw the boy sigh in frustration before Jaemin’s lips were moving fast and creating the words _‘if I was, I wouldn’t be crying before my class’_. “I’m sorry,” He apologised, feeling guilty and looking away, taking a step back and moving to his seat when he felt a warm hand press against his thin wrist. Turning to look at the crying boy, Renjun could make out the words _‘I’m not what they say’_ on his lips before the warmth was gone and Na Jaemin was wiping his tears with his hands. 

“I’m sure, you’re not,” He replied earnestly, giving the surprised boy a small smile before he turned around and walked to his seat. 

 

Today seemed to be full of surprises for Renjun when Na Jaemin had entered his peripheral vision and sat down in the seat next to him, a sheepish question of _‘no one’s sitting here, are they?’_ to which Renjun simply shook his head to.

 

**_Please continue reading Chapter 11._ **

 

**_Chapter 11 will be updated within the next two months._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for 100 kudos ^_^ You're all awesome omfg


	8. READ IMPORTANT NOTICE 02/09/19

**_Dear Reader,_ **

 

**_I hate it when authors usually do this but I felt the need was necessary this time._ **

 

**_I have to postpone the production of this story for various reasons (expanded below). I want to thank you for waiting patiently this whole time and I must also apologise for bringing up false hope. If you have been following this story for long enough, you'd know that I haven't been able to keep up with the deadlines that I had set for myself. A solution to this would be the remove the deadlines but I have come up with a better one: I will upload all of the chapters in the same week. As for when, I cannot be sure but it could possibly a whole year from now due to:_ **

 

**_1) This year I am graduating - I am quite young and am graduating from high school this year. Like all students, I have my final exams coming up mid-October and had some pretty important exams that I had throughout the year. Since I put my studies first, I really only had time to work on stories that were easier to write when tired - my linear stories. Although this story is linear, it is more like a game where each choice has a consequence and impact. I had thought the idea was cool and despite my planning couldn't rewrite each pathway without considering all the little details such as the 'what if's and the 'this could happen too's. This story is complex, the most complex that I have ever seen, and without detailed planning could all fall apart. I don't want it to fall apart so I kept postponing when I would work on it until it reached the point where I am at now - stuck._ **

 

**_2) Mental state - I am human (yes, I am not a godsent, I'm just human) and like other humans, I have my ups and downs. However, I also have been diagnosed with a mental illness and have been for a few years but it wasn't until recently that it had started to get to me again. I'm not putting this here for you to feel sympathy or empathy - this is a legitimate reason that has been hindering production. Although I have had editors, I don't put anything up until I am satisfied with it and my insecurities have gotten the better of me and caused me to delete all my plans. Without backups. I realise now how stupid that was but rebuilding takes time and I need more time to create a better story than the one I deleted. My mental illness has also been diminishing my motivation recently, even with my school work and studying for exams, and it's frustrating but I am also doing my best to overcome it._ **

 

**_3) The choices - I am one person who is writing the outcomes of decisions that many people will have to choose between. It is not easy rewriting one scene, it's like spending months on a painting and then being asked to make a replica exactly the same way. It seems useless but the aim of the story is that you don't read all the outcomes at once. However, writing out the scenarios are different - I have to write as if I do not know about the other choices and that proves to be difficult since I don't get the reactions right. This is the reason that is delaying the production the most: in my final year of high school, I don't have time to sit and write out four outcomes of the same event in a week._ **

 

**_Keeping all of that in mind, I will later add in all the chapters in the same week or maybe even day, depending if I can format them quick enough. However, that is all probably a year from now and very far away. I'm sorry I have kept you all waiting for so long. I thought you all deserved an explanation so here it is. I am always working on this story in the background and the main foundations are set - it's more of how the outcomes tie together at this point. Once I have a plan that is fully complete, I will write and write and write until my fingers are numb just to meet the deadline._ **

 

**_If it's not up on the 02/09/20, you all have permission to scream at me._ **

 

**_Yours sincerely,_ **

**_SeaChelle623_ **

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: I do not own NCT Dream or even NCT in general. I only own the plot. All credit goes to rightful owners.


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